just give me a signal (cause i remember the sound of your voice)
by bleuboxes
Summary: She's talking to James Potter, but in a platonic friend way, not a Holy Shit Lily Evans Likes James Potter Way. Who is she kidding? She likes James Potter.


**SEPTEMBER 2017**

Lily Evans doesn't talk to James Potter.

She doesn't hate him, or not like him or anything; from what she's experienced in the eleven years that she's known him he's been an ass, but not a dick so that amounts to something.

He's tried to talk to her, on many separate occasions: frivolous declarations of love, shaming her choice in friends (which was warranted, she supposes), and just, being ridiculously stupid and annoying in an attempt to get her to notice him.

So, okay, she lied; she's talked to James Potter but not _talked to_ him.

Which is why this year – senior year – is feeling iffy.

They aren't talking, but she knows he's looking, and they're pleasant to each other; she's finding that she nearly always is able to spot him in a crowded room, and she can't hold his gaze for more than a few moments without looking down at the ground.

Lily isn't one to be dramatic, but she _really_ hates this.

And if all the reading of novels and everything else proves true, she's well on her way of falling in love with James Potter, which is in and of itself, ridiculous; she doesn't even know him.

(Also, she told him last year that she'd sooner fall in love with a giant squid than go out with him, so there's that issue, because he sort of was the Worst last year).

* * *

 **OCTOBER 2017**

It starts on the first Friday of October.

Lily's at home, working on reading _Gone with the Wind,_ which she's been reading for a year (she's a little embarrassed, but more so wished she actually had time to read). It's well past midnight, but this is her idea of a good time, and it's the weekend – so she can't find it within herself to shut the light off and sleep yet.

It's maybe two am, when she finally decides to shut off the lights and go to sleep. She puts the book on the nightstand, and jumps off her bed to change into her pj's and brush her teeth.

So, she changes into a sweatshirt and boxers, brushes her teeth, and hops back into bed.

Before calling it a night, she opens her phone and scrolls through her Instagram feed, and Tumblr dash, and that's when a little notification catches her eye.

It's a snapchat from James Potter (who's well on his way to becoming intoxicated if he already isn't, seeing as it's two A.M. on a Saturday morning.

Lily's heartbeat quickens for reasons she isn't quite sure of, but she opens it.

It's an incoherent mumbo-jumbo of words asking her to not do something, but she's literally got no idea what in god's name he's trying to convey.

She doesn't save the message but memorizes it and copies it into her notes before texting Marlene about what she should do about this situation.

Although she's not sure if Marlene's even going to be up at this hour.

* * *

 _ **squid**_ _: yo marlene_

 _ **squid**_ _: what the FUCK is this supposed to mean_

 _ **squid**_ _: i nede a year frm ur h hefaoe_

 _ **marmeme**_ _: boi I have no fuckin idea_

 _ **marmeme**_ _: y_

 _ **marmeme**_ _: wait a minute who the FUCk drunk texted u_

 _ **marmeme**_ _: LiLy, aNsWeR mE_

 _ **squid**_ _: james potter_

 _ **squid**_ _: bfor u say ANYTHING I need to know do I ask about this or just ognore it bc my gut's going with ignore ignore ignore but I'm Curious As All Hell_

 _ **squid**_ _: *ignore_

 _ **marmeme**_ _: you know what I'm going to say so why the fuck did you even ask_

 _ **squid**_ _: shiy u right_

 _ **squid**_ _: ****sHIT_

 _ **mermeme**_ _: b I know u cant spell its okay_

* * *

So, Lily replies quite elegantly, _"i'm sorry, what?"_ and goes to sleep.

She wakes up the next morning, almost oblivious to the night before.

Lily's stuck in this purgatory of not caring and caring a shit ton about whether James Potter responds and explains what his message meant last night (if he even knows himself), so yes, she's almost oblivious. There's a strange gnawing in her stomach and she finds herself straightening out her room for the majority of the morning.

Everything she seems to do somehow puts her mind onto the track of James Potter however, and she again, finds herself refreshing her snapchat religiously. After about half hour of that, she texts Marlene, who doesn't answer at a reasonable time of day for some odd reason.

Which is fine. She's not panicking or freaking out or anything.

And she's not worried about being left on open or how weird it's going to be in class on Monday with him even though they don't talk or anything at all.

Nope. Everything is fine.

And that's when the notification pops up that says he's typing and _holy shit,_ if her heart isn't beating out of her chest right now, she doesn't know what it's doing. She doesn't think she's ever been this nervous or full of apprehension in her entire life.

And then she received the dreaded message and froze.

She decides to wait five minutes to open it, so it didn't make her look like she was waiting for it or something.

Five minutes goes by in the time span of four years.

She opens the message, and whatever she was expecting him to say, it sure as hell wasn't that.

It's a long ass paragraph – well an apology, basically, for maybe every shitty thing he's done to her (and to her friends by extension) and how he used to like her and was sorry he went about getting her attention in shitty ways and how he didn't quite remember what it was he sent her, but if it was obscene, she's got permission to kick his ass on Monday.

And it might be the nicest thing he's ever said to her.

Well, messaged her.

Because they don't speak.

She tells Marlene as much via text, but she doesn't reply.

And for some reason, Lily finds herself smiling.

* * *

Monday rolls around like a lion, and there is no verbal exchange between her and James. There are unspoken glances, and everything in between, but words aren't in their company.

Two weeks pass.

It's Friday night again, and she's still reading _Gone with the Wind_ , at a much more reasonable hour this time, and her phone pings.

It's James Potter – he's snapchatted her again for reasons unknown, and Lily decides against her better judgement to not text Marlene about it and just open the stupid message.

It's just a simple _hey,_ but it's something.

And when she messages him back, she knows that this is a pivotal moment.

* * *

 **NOVEMBER 2017**

 _ **james potter**_ _: look I'm not saying that dat boi is a dead meme_

 _ **james potter**_ _: but dat boi is a dead meme_

 _ **lily evans**_ _: fAKE NEWS_

 _ **lily evans**_ _: dat boi will never die_

 _ **james potter**_ _: keep telling urself that sweaty_

 _ **james potter**_ _: also what was the german homework_

 _ **lily evans**_ _: weve got a vocab quiz thursday my dude_

 _ **james potter**_ _: thanks :-)_

* * *

Lily isn't sure what to think anymore.

She's still not talking to James Potter but she also is, in a binary way.

And it's weird but it also isn't. Most of the time it's just James Potter asking her what the homework is (because he apparently does his work this year). But sometimes (when she's got nothing better to do) she'll push the conversation into meaningless nonsense (which is where the dat boi came from) and it's actually nice.

She doesn't really know him still, but from the small conversations she's had with him, she's getting a better grip on his character.

* * *

 _ **lily evans**_ _: james_

 _ **lily evans**_ _: why did sirius just add me to a gc_

 _ **lily evans**_ _: i don't even talk to sirius_

 _ **lily evans**_ _: or peter_

 _ **lily evans**_ _: i adore remus but that's not the point_

 _ **james potter**_ _: ive got no fkn clue_

 _ **james potter**_ _: also u don't talk to me either but_

 _ **lily evans**_ _: i can talk to you if ud like_

 _ **lily evans**_ _: like humans do, face to face, if u want?_

 _ **lily evans**_ _: wasn't sure if it was Taboo to b seen with me or smthn bc of the thing_

 _ **james potter**_ _: uh yeah human interactions sound nice_

 _ **james potter**_ _: not taboo that ur pal cant keep her mouth shut_

 _ **james potter**_ _: also i can remove u from the gc if u want_

 _ **lily evans**_ _: lol marlene means well_

 _ **lily evans**_ _: she's just feeding on the prior knowledge tht ur were In Love with me and u still are_

 _ **lily evans**_ _: apparently the seckz was Fab so ¯\\_(_ _ツ_ _)_/¯_

 _ **james potter**_ _: damb_

 _ **lily evans**_ _: also watch Brooklyn 99_

 _ **james potter**_ _: jesus christ lily_

 _ **james potter**_ _: u tell me to do this every day and every day I say that I already fucking do,,,_

 _ **lily evans**_ _: :-)_

* * *

By Thanksgiving, she and James are on speaking terms, and James doesn't do things in halves, either. He's moved himself to her lunch table (and that means moving Remus, Sirius, and Peter with him) which was a surprise (and earned her a few questioning and shrewd looks from Marlene, Mary, and Dorcas.

But talking to him has been a whole new, wonderful experience.

She's learned a bit about him by his interactions with her and the interactions he has with her friends and his own. He's a never-ending source of energy – she doesn't think she's ever seen him tired. It's easy to see how devoted he is to his friends – and that really warms Lily's heart (because she's pretty sure they're friends now and if he feels even half as strongly about her as he does for the three boys he hangs out with all the time, she'll feel like she'll burst).

He's only ever serious when he knows that somethings wrong, otherwise it's always jesting and pranks and laughs when he's in her company.

He's charismatic and kind and she wishes he wasn't so freaking popular because everywhere he goes when he's walking to class with her, maybe twelve people wave or say hello or do something overtly heterosexual-male to him.

And this has literally nothing to do with how he is as a person, but he's really, really handsome. His hair is never in order – like some untamed beast, but Lily thinks it's rather dashing. He often runs his hand through it when he's nervous or overly bashful. His eyes are like gems which sit behind his specs, bright and shining with mirth and laughter always and Lily could stare into them for the rest of her life if given the chance. He's got a nice amount of muscle on him too, and Lily finds herself wishing he wore looser fitting shirts because it Really Does Things to Her sometimes. His smile (much like Helen of Troy's) could have launched a thousand ships if that was his intention. Instead, it leaves her feeling light and young and happy – and maybe with a slight tint of red upon her cheeks (but who's keeping track).

But in a platonic friend way, not a _Holy Shit Lily Evans Likes James Potter_ Way.

Who is she kidding?

She _likes_ James Potter.

* * *

 _ **lily evans h8s ur mom**_

 _ **sirius**_ _: look_

 _ **sirius:**_ _not saying ud b a power couple_

 _ **sirius:**_ _but ud b a power cou_ _ple_

 _ **lily:**_ _sirius u kno I cant_

 _ **lily:**_ _ur the only man for me_

 _ **remus:**_ _oh okay_

 _ **remus:**_ _that's fine_

 _ **sirius:**_ _hA suck my DICK MOONY_

 _ **james:**_ _save it for later pls_

 _ **lily:**_ _rip james_

 _ **james:**_ _im not dead?_

 _ **lily:**_ _yeah but ur str8 so I mean its basically the same thing_

 _ **peter:**_ _james is literally the gayest straight i kno tho,,_

 _ **james:**_ _if ive said it once ive said it 1000 times im bISEXUAL!_

 _ **lily:**_ _yeh so_

 _ **james:**_ _y cant we str8 shame peter, the only Known Straight here_

 _ **sirius:**_ _bc peter makes us food_

 _ **sirius:**_ _also we like making u Mad_

 _ **James has changed the name to Lily Evans is Heterophobic**_

 _ **lily:**_ _shit! U right!_

 _ **remus:**_ _who isn't at this point tbh_

* * *

 **DECEMBER 2017**

"I don't want a lot for Christmas."

"James. Please, it's literally the first of December."

"There is just one thing I need."

"You're not even singing; your just, _speaking_ the words to me like some sort of peasant rapper."

"I don't care about the presents."

" _James."_ Lily groans quietly as their teacher drones on about federalism, "shut it."

"Underneath the Christmas tree."

This time, he sings ridiculously loud, earning the snickers of much of the class and a detention from the teacher. (Lily lets out a loud belly laugh, and in her revelry, completely ignores the look of self-satisfaction upon James's face as he watches her).

The month passes with grace. It's snowy and the ski mountain that's by her house is the home of many get togethers for her and James (and her friends and James's friends).

It's the first time they really hang out outside of school together since maybe third grade? Which Lily finds both hilarious and outrageous at the same time.

Needless to say, James is a pretty good skier (not as good as she is, and she's pretty sure he knows that).

* * *

It's in December that she attends her first (and probably last) high-school party. She didn't want to, but Mary was urging her to get out of the house (saying something along the lines of: you haven't finished _Gone with the Wind_ yet, and you won't finish it tonight, so you're going.)

It's at James's house, so she's packing an overnight bag and she feels a little less uncomfortable knowing she's going to be at his house instead of someone's that she doesn't know.

She lets her mom know she's heading over to James' and borrows the car. She picks Mary, Marlene and Dorcas up along the way, and this is maybe the most nerve wracking drive she's had since the one to Petunia's wedding.

Basically, the hype was worth more than the actual shindig.

She doesn't know half the people here, James is to busy being a fun, energetic host (and gathering attention of pretty girls, which she's' not the least bit concerned about), and someone vomits on her shoes. Not that she doesn't have a good time, because she does.

She ends up spending most of time with Sirius, who's even more ridiculous when he's got alcohol in his system. He's a good dancer and when he forces Remus to put Gasolina on the stereo, Lily doesn't think she's ever witnessed him in such a state of elation.

Although she can't blame him, Gasolina _is_ a fucking banger.

Either way, she retires early (much against Sirius' drunken pleas) to one of the many guest rooms in James' monster of a house.

She wakes up with Sirius, Dorcas, and Peter piled on top of her. She's a little unpleasant about it at first, but the she breaks into a fit of giggles, because she's never felt like she belonged with people more in her life.

(Eventually the pile of humans on top of her wakes up to her giggles, and they are not nearly as enthused as Lily, but they still join in on the giggles and eventually re-arrange themselves so that they aren't crushing Lily to death.)

Petunia comes by for Christmas, new born baby and toad of a husband with her, and to avoid catastrophe, Lily tells her mother that she'd be more than happy to get out of the house. Her mother hides the heartbreak well, and says that's fine.

Lily is a little sad too, but she promised herself she' never be sad over Petunia and her shitty life choices ever again.

* * *

 _ **hey demons its ya gurl, tituba**_

 _ **squid:**_ _babez_

 _ **squid:**_ _r any of u going to potters 2nite_

 _ **squid:**_ _im kicking myself out of the house bc tunies in and I Cant Have Christmas Ruined Again_

 _ **not str8:**_ _Yikes_

 _ **not str8:**_ _I want head over there I think but idk if my mom will let me_

 _ **squid:**_ _booOOO Dorcas_

 _ **not str8:**_ _fuck off lily._

* * *

 _ **gasolina is a bANGER FUCK OFF JAMES**_

 _ **red:**_ _okay boiz_

 _ **red:**_ _save me a seat at ur Christmas shindig bc I Will Be There_

 _ **not sirius:**_ _hellz yEAH_

 _ **remus: i**_ _ts officially a Party now that Lily's coming!_

 _ **peter**_ _: :)_

 _ **james:**_ _coolcoolcoolcool_

 _ **red:**_ _no doubt no doubt_

 _ **james:**_ _noice_

 _ **red:**_ _smort_

 _ **not sirius:**_ _stop_

 _ **not sirius:**_ _lily if u say watch Brooklyn 99 once more im filing for divorce_

 _ **red:**_ _u wont_

 _ **not sirius:**_ _shit u right_

 _ **red:**_ _I'm always right sweaty_

 _ **james:**_ _jesus fucking christ_

 _ **peter:**_ _don't take the lords name in vain prongs_

 _ **remus:**_ _yeah james_

 _ **not sirius: i**_ _ts Christmas prongs don't disrespect the reason for the season_

 _ **remus:**_ _nothing but respect for my Jesus_

 _ **james:**_ _I hate u_

 _ **red:**_ _nah u don't_

 _ **james:**_ _"'shit u right' -sirius black" -james potter_

 _ **red:**_ _pls stop._

* * *

Lily drives herself to James' house at around seven on Christmas day. She's got a bunch of Santa hats and candy canes, and the boxed wine her mom not so subtly left in the car for her. When she gets to his house, she parks in his driveway and fill her hands with all that she's brought with her.

It doesn't sound like much, but she was struggling to carry it all.

James's mother is the one that opens the door.

They both look at the box of wine in Lily's arms, and James' mother sighs.

"I'll show you where the glasses are. Don't want James ruining the good ones again – he's very clumsy sometimes." She ushers Lily inside.

She follows Mrs. Potter into the kitchen, where she finds James and Sirius fooling around with Remus and Peter.

"Oi! Red!" Shouts Sirius.

James doesn't say anything, but he looks at her and his eyes grow very wide.

(She's not saying she put a little more work into her appearance more than she usually does, but she put a little more work into her appearance than she usually does. Because it's Christmas, not because she's trying to impress James. Obviously.)

"Happy Christmas!" she smiles as the boys suffocate her with embraces.

"Let the lady put her things down, boys." Mrs. Potter tuts, "James, remember to use the specified wine glasses, and don't be too rambunctious."

"No promises." Smirks Sirius.

"I trust Lily'll keep you in line."

"Yes, ma'am." Lily laughs.

"Alright, well I best be off."

And with a chorus of good-bye's, Mrs. Potter is out the door.

That's when Sirius and Remus scramble to the basement, and have a battle for the aux.

Sirius wins, and Mariah Carey is ringing through the rafters.

James points out the various positions of mistletoe throughout the house (because apparently his parents are hideously in love and will take any excuse to kiss each other), and how to avoid these spots, but he won't meet her eye.

Lily takes a nice long sip of wine.

James gulps.

The night goes on.

Somehow, the music has changed from Christmas music to Sirius' Greatest Mix of All Time, which is basically just Gasolina, the Killers entire discography, and like My Chemical Romance (apparently, he's a closet emo, who knew?).

Which is fine, because Lily's on her third glass of wine and is the happiest she's ever been on Christmas.

Which is why when she and James head back to the kitchen to fetch some pretzels, she puts it all on the line and purposefully steps under the mistletoe.

"Whoops." She deadpans.

James looks absolutely and utterly terrified for a quick minute before she punches his shoulder.

"Well, you're not just gonna leave me here to wait for Peter, are you?"

"Absolutely not."

And then they're kissing. It's a little sloppy, but it's a Christmas kiss with James Potter – and well, Lily's only just internally combusting because of happiness, so it's no big deal. He tastes of boxed wine and Doritos, and her hands snake up to the nape of his neck. He's got his hands placed at the small of her back.

It's really quite lovely.

That's until Sirius enters, screaming something rotten about how Remus changed the music and runs right into them.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Prongs."

"Shut the hell up, Sirius." Lily glowers, "You just ruined a moment."

"I'm sure you'll have millions of other moments, seeing as James was probably gonna ask you to go out with him or something."

"Well, good." She swallows, taken aback, James looks sheepishly at her.

"Please leave, Sirius."

"Aye Aye, Prongsie." Sirius mock salutes and prances back down to the basement.

"Hey, Evans?"

"Hmm?' she grins flirtatiously.

"Wanna go out sometime?"

"I can pencil you in, I suppose."

He kisses her again, and Lily melts right into him.

A happy Christmas indeed.

* * *

 **DECEMBER 2018**

 _ **gasolina is God Tier**_

 _ **not sirius:**_ _hey james remember when u were drunk at mckinnons party last year and u were like_

 _ **not sirius:**_ _yo b lily's face is so nice_

 _ **not sirius:**_ _y does she have to be in all my classes and sp nice and y do I have to b so hopelessly in love with her when she hates me for something I did in like third grade_

 _ **not sirius:**_ _and then I stole ur phone and was like 'im texting her!' and u were like oookay cool_

 _ **not sirius:**_ _because I feel like if it wasn't for me saying u needed a year without her face I feel like this whirlwind romance between the two of you would not have happened_

 _ **red:**_ _wAIT_

 _ **red:**_ _aRE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME_

 _ **red:**_ _IT WASN'T SVEN JAMES_

 _ **red:**_ _I HATE YOU ALL_

 _ **james 3:**_ _hey it got us chatting so like_

 _ **james 3:**_ _who eve n cares if it was sirius just being the Worst Embarrassing Person in the Entire Universe_

 _ **not sirius:**_ _luv u too b_

 _ **not sirius**_ _: also red remeber that thing u said about the squid_

 _ **red**_ _: i still get shit about that from marlene and i wont have u start on about that too_

 _ **not sirius:**_ _too lATE_

* * *

 ** _reviews/favorites/follows are the bee's knees._**

 ** _Also - happy new year!_**


End file.
